Kwentong Kengkay

Setyembre 8, 2008

Sleeping with the Kids

Filed under: Mom Bares,My Girls Talk,Papa Dear — kengkay @ 7:08 hapon

IC is four and MC is six, yet we still bring the kids to bed; we still stay with them until they’re deep in slumber — or else, they wont sleep.

It took a while before the kids actually agreed to sleep in their own beds; after all, I breasfed them for a total of five years. That means, they spent most of their breastfeeding years sleeping between their mama and papa.

I used to envy those parents who easily trained their kids to sleep alone. I do wanted to have some ‘lounging’ time with my husband at night, but that’s never the case at home. Papa would bring MC to bed and would be the first one to fall asleep most of the time; and I would be lying beside IC. Separate ways, not easy, especially if we wanted to talk about something; or if we simply wanted to relax and enjoy a glass of wine together.

But after a few years of encouraging the girls to try to sleep alone; and trying out a lot of tricks and tips on how to let kids sleep alone, we are still bringing them to bed.

And you know what? We are now enjoying those alone nights with the kids, too. Because it is during those times that they would really talk to us. They would ask loads of questions that would sometimes be so fascinating though some would be a bit weird, too. They would tell us about their observations and would ask about reactions. They would summarize their day, our day and fantasize about the days of a friend. They would make us laugh mimicking some people. Oh, we would talk, and talk and talk and snicker and giggle — and before we knew it, we’d be asleep.

Soon, the kids would be kicking us out of their beds and their rooms. Meantime, my husband and I agreed to savor the nights with them first. After all, we could always create our together time, too.


10 mga puna »

  1. i used to gat a lot of criticism from my in laws about taking the kids to our bed to sleep. it’s a Filipino thing, as i always defended rooming in. in my short mommy experience, i think the kids grow up well adjusted because Dad and Mom showed them love through hugs, bedtime stories, ticklings and just cozying up to the parents. even the health department gave me a brochure that said rooming in is believed to be a way for the babies to die of SIDS. They said if one of us slept too deep that we might smother the baby. It’s a good warning but maybe to those who come to bed drunk as a skunk or high or for whatever reason not good bedfellows. A lot of people wonder why Filipinos are more family-centric than other cultures. Is this because we as families are ‘closer’ from birth with our parents?

    Komento ni Mahalia — Setyembre 9, 2008 @ 1:46 umaga | Sagutin

  2. It’s sweet that your hubby enjoys this nighttime ritual too! I guess some busy Western parents see this situation as the kids “tricking” and “manipulating” parents, and a loss of the grown-ups’ personal time, but with our Filipino background we know better… these moments precious indeed, snuggling with our kids until they fall asleep 😉

    Komento ni Christianne — Setyembre 9, 2008 @ 11:59 umaga | Sagutin

  3. Exactly, savor the time when they actually want to be with you! I would love Mina to be in bed with us, but she’s actually more comfortable in her crib.

    P.S. I’ve changed to a new URL along with the pinaymommy one. Main blog is now at

    Komento ni tintin — Setyembre 10, 2008 @ 1:43 umaga | Sagutin

  4. Everytime the kids are not feeling well, they get to sleep with us. Our only boy kinda sleeps walk at dawn, going to our bed from their room 😀

    Its nice to tuck them to bed, while we still can.

    Komento ni julie — Setyembre 10, 2008 @ 9:24 umaga | Sagutin

  5. pano pa magkakaroon ng pangatlo yan? lol. kidding aside, i’ve co-slept with louna before and i was of course criticized by my inlaws, indirectly tho, so it was frenchguy who’s telling me, so kami ang me conflict, lol.. but later on, he appreciated that bonding moment and sya pa nga minsan ang nagre-request.. now, louna sleeps on her own bed, but prior to that, we have our story and cuddling time..

    Komento ni Analyse — Setyembre 10, 2008 @ 12:11 hapon | Sagutin

  6. i have learned to be deaf to comments about co-sleeping. its our life and our kids and it is just a different way of doing things- has its great advantages and disadvantages too. i thought it was mostly a filipino thing to do that but this past year, i was very good friends with this couple who co-sleeps with their 5-year-old (who is technically their granddaughter but they were reaising her as their own)- American Caucasian though it was like a big secret.

    Komento ni MarysMom — Setyembre 11, 2008 @ 2:37 hapon | Sagutin

  7. Our 6-year old boy still sleeps with us. When both American and Filipino friends ask me when he’s going to move to his own room, I reply: “When he’s in college!” I’m not ashamed about it and I’m not gonna make excuses: I LOVE it that he’s in bed with us. I savor this time that he still wants to be with us.

    Incidentally, we also slept in our parents’ beds until we were 8 or 9. And yes, it’s a Filipino thing. My brother’s 10-year old still sleeps with them (or actually, sleep-walks back to their bed). They also get flak from their American and Filipino friends.

    Komento ni purplegirl — Setyembre 12, 2008 @ 12:45 hapon | Sagutin

  8. that’s such a nice scene, just like in the movies 🙂

    Komento ni Vlado&Toni — Setyembre 12, 2008 @ 8:36 hapon | Sagutin

  9. I think Mom’s are almost the same. We like to be with kids from time to time and of course reading books included 😀 ! Hay naku, hindi naman sa binebeybi natin sila but being with them is really something irreplaceable.

    Komento ni haze — Setyembre 13, 2008 @ 12:25 hapon | Sagutin

  10. Almost missed this. Our kids sleep with us too. I once read from a parenting book(I’ll try to look for it tomorrow)that it bonds parents and children more.

    @ Analyse, malawak naman ang bahay e heheheh… be creative(lol).

    Komento ni lovelyn — Setyembre 16, 2008 @ 10:33 hapon | Sagutin

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